Field hockey is over.
A 16 year long chapter in my life has come to a close.
I am not sure how I am feeling. The emotions that are running through my body are foreign and contradictory. I don’t think I have truly wrapped my mind around the fact that I will no longer be on a team, and next year I will not be returning to Hendrix College for preseason. I won’t receive a workout for the summer, or have to worry about when my individual session will be scheduled in the spring.
I joke with people on the team about how we will have to schedule workouts from 4:30-6:30 Monday-Friday so that I can maintain structure to my day but it is only slightly a joke. I am already missing hockey, and its only the second day of not having it. All day I was worried about getting everything done before practice, and then realized that I don’t have that worry anymore.
It has been a long and crazy road. I cannot describe how amazing these last four years have been. Winning games that seemed out of our reach, fighting back when we were down goals or players, and always standing strong when the odds were stacked against us. I am so proud to be a part of Hendrix Field Hockey, and absolutely amazed at what we have accomplished as a team. It doesn't seem real, the victory over Sewanee in overtime was one of the happiest moments I have had on a hockey field and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
After the game on Saturday, I couldn't stop the tears from running down from my eyes. I saw my mom running across the field and as she took me in her embrace I cried even harder. She held me tight and told me over and over how proud she was of me, and how well we played. When my tears slowed down she whispered in my ear, "now you just have to show your love for the game in a different way, stay involved, coach, it is what has allowed me to keep my love for the game alive." I know she was right, and I know no matter what I will keep my love for the game in my heart always. It is going to be different though.
This is the first chapter to close in my life, and I know that this being my senior year many more are to follow. It is going to be a year of change. I sit in my room at times and think about what it will be like next year when I will not be living with two of my best friends but instead struggling to find a job and a place to live. What will happen when a 15 page paper is not the most stressful part of my life, and when I want to talk to my friends I can’t just call them up and have them meet me in the pecan court or have midnight tea parties in the labyrinth. Life is changing so fast, and try as I might I cannot slow it down. I get chills just thinking about the idea of graduation, yet in a mere few months it will actually be happening.
This year will be a memory soon, so my goal is to make the most of it. Spend more time with my friends, not worrying so much about the future but living in the moment because the time to worry will come but its not here yet. Hendrix will be my home for the next six months, and I don’t want to regret not having done anything. I want to sing in live-band karaoke, dance for hours with my friends at parties singing along to the music, sit and have a cup of tea with my lovely ladies and having heart to hearts instead of writing a paper that is due the next day. Saying goodbye to Hendrix is going to be hard, but until that has to happen I am just going to live every day to its fullest and not allow anything to ruin these last months.
"I ain't here to do anything half way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just want to free fall for awhile"
Wild at heart- Gloriana
A 16 year long chapter in my life has come to a close.
I am not sure how I am feeling. The emotions that are running through my body are foreign and contradictory. I don’t think I have truly wrapped my mind around the fact that I will no longer be on a team, and next year I will not be returning to Hendrix College for preseason. I won’t receive a workout for the summer, or have to worry about when my individual session will be scheduled in the spring.
I joke with people on the team about how we will have to schedule workouts from 4:30-6:30 Monday-Friday so that I can maintain structure to my day but it is only slightly a joke. I am already missing hockey, and its only the second day of not having it. All day I was worried about getting everything done before practice, and then realized that I don’t have that worry anymore.
It has been a long and crazy road. I cannot describe how amazing these last four years have been. Winning games that seemed out of our reach, fighting back when we were down goals or players, and always standing strong when the odds were stacked against us. I am so proud to be a part of Hendrix Field Hockey, and absolutely amazed at what we have accomplished as a team. It doesn't seem real, the victory over Sewanee in overtime was one of the happiest moments I have had on a hockey field and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
After the game on Saturday, I couldn't stop the tears from running down from my eyes. I saw my mom running across the field and as she took me in her embrace I cried even harder. She held me tight and told me over and over how proud she was of me, and how well we played. When my tears slowed down she whispered in my ear, "now you just have to show your love for the game in a different way, stay involved, coach, it is what has allowed me to keep my love for the game alive." I know she was right, and I know no matter what I will keep my love for the game in my heart always. It is going to be different though.
This is the first chapter to close in my life, and I know that this being my senior year many more are to follow. It is going to be a year of change. I sit in my room at times and think about what it will be like next year when I will not be living with two of my best friends but instead struggling to find a job and a place to live. What will happen when a 15 page paper is not the most stressful part of my life, and when I want to talk to my friends I can’t just call them up and have them meet me in the pecan court or have midnight tea parties in the labyrinth. Life is changing so fast, and try as I might I cannot slow it down. I get chills just thinking about the idea of graduation, yet in a mere few months it will actually be happening.
This year will be a memory soon, so my goal is to make the most of it. Spend more time with my friends, not worrying so much about the future but living in the moment because the time to worry will come but its not here yet. Hendrix will be my home for the next six months, and I don’t want to regret not having done anything. I want to sing in live-band karaoke, dance for hours with my friends at parties singing along to the music, sit and have a cup of tea with my lovely ladies and having heart to hearts instead of writing a paper that is due the next day. Saying goodbye to Hendrix is going to be hard, but until that has to happen I am just going to live every day to its fullest and not allow anything to ruin these last months.
"I ain't here to do anything half way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just want to free fall for awhile"
Wild at heart- Gloriana
